Many parents are sleep-deprived. They seek solutions to help their babies sleep better. One method that often comes up is the cry-it-out (CIO) approach.
While it promises quick results, some fear the effects of leaving a baby to cry. This article will explore those potential long-term impacts and offer alternatives.
Understanding the effects of CIO on a baby’s emotional well-being is critical. Attachment theory says the first year is key for building trust.
It is a sensitive time for developing security. Ignoring a baby’s cries could harm their emotional development. This may cause issues later in life.
Fortunately, responsive parenting offers a more nurturing approach to sleep training. Gently and consistently meeting your baby’s needs fosters secure attachment.
It also builds healthy sleep habits that benefit both of you.
What Is the Cry-It-Out Method?
The cry-it-out method is when you let your baby cry for a while without comforting them right away. The idea is to help them learn to fall asleep on their own.
Dr. Richard Ferber made this method well-known in the 1980s. He said it would help babies wake up less at night.
Some parents find that after a few nights of trying this, their baby does start sleeping better.
But doing this might cause problems we don’t see right away, like issues with how a baby feels and thinks.
How Babies Grow and Feel
In the first year, a baby’s brain grows really fast. Almost 75% of their brain develops during this time.
What happens to them during this stage is very important. It shapes how they will think and feel later in life.
Stress and Babies
If a baby cries a lot and isn’t comforted, they can get very stressed. This releases a stress chemical called cortisol.
Too much cortisol can be bad for their growing brain. High cortisol levels during sleep training can hurt emotional control later.
A study of 25 infants found high cortisol levels during CIO training. They stayed high even when the babies seemed calm.
“If left to cry for too long, babies may become distressed.”
High stress hormones, like cortisol, can harm a baby’s ability to manage emotions later in life.” — Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, Pediatrician and Child Development Expert.
Feeling Secure
It’s very important for babies to feel safe and secure. This comes from a theory called attachment theory.
It says babies need to feel close and connected to their parents to grow up feeling stable and happy.
When parents quickly take care of their baby’s needs, the baby feels safe and loved. This good feeling helps them as they grow up.
Attachment Types
Attachment theory identifies four types of attachment: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized.
Babies who are securely attached trust their caregivers. They are likely to grow up emotionally balanced.
However, babies with insecure attachment may struggle with anxiety. This can happen if their needs are not met. They may also fear and find it hard to form close relationships.
Oxytocin’s Role
Responsive parenting also releases oxytocin, known as the “bonding hormone.” Oxytocin helps reduce stress and promote feelings of security in babies.
When parents respond to their baby’s cries, they comfort them. They also, chemically, reinforce a sense of safety.
Problems with Letting Babies Cry
Though it might help with sleep, letting babies cry can have downsides:
- Feeling Ignored: Babies cry to tell us they need something. If they learn that crying doesn’t bring help, they might stop asking for help. This could make it hard for them to show their feelings when they’re older.
- Feeling Anxious: If babies don’t trust their parents, they may feel anxious. This can make it hard for them to make friends and trust people later.
- Getting Too Stressed: Being very stressed as a baby can make it hard for them to handle stress when they get older. They might have trouble keeping calm and feeling okay.
- Trouble with Friends and Learning: High stress in babies can harm their social skills and school success later.
Personal Story
Sarah, a mother of two, tried the cry-it-out method with her first child. He eventually slept through the night.
But, he was more withdrawn during the day. He seemed anxious around strangers. She later tried a more responsive approach with her second child.
Her baby slept better and was happier during the day. This made her question CIO’s long-term effects on her son’s emotions.
Some Studies Say It’s Okay
It’s important to know that not all studies think letting babies cry is bad. Some research says that it doesn’t hurt them in the long run.
One study found that babies left to cry had no more stress or behavioral issues five years later.
But these studies often have limits, like small sample sizes or short follow-ups. Many studies do not consider other factors.
For example, parents’ awareness of the method could influence the results. More research is needed to make a strong conclusion about CIO’s long-term effects.
Being There Helps
Instead of letting babies cry, being there for them can make a big difference. This is called responsive parenting. Here’s why it is good:
- Feeling Safe: When babies know you will always be there, they feel safe. This helps them become happy and well-behaved kids.
- Learning to Calm Down: When you help your baby calm down, they learn how to do it on their own. This is a big step toward growing up healthy.
- Less Stress: Comforting your baby helps keep their stress low. This means they’re happier and healthier.
“Responsive parenting builds your child’s emotional intelligence and security.
This foundation fosters strong relationships and resilience later in life.” — Dr. Laura Markham, Clinical Psychologist and Author of Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids.
Responsive parenting has long-term benefits, too. Babies who feel safe and loved grow up better. They have better emotional health, social skills, and do better in school.
Long-Term Benefits of Responsive Parenting
Responsive parenting is hard at first. But research shows it has many long-term benefits. Studies show that babies who get responsive care, especially early on, grow up better.
They have better emotional skills, higher self-esteem, and stronger social connections. These children are more likely to form a secure attachment.
It’s the basis for healthy relationships throughout life. A securely attached child is more likely to be empathetic, cooperative, and resilient.
Also, as children grow, they carry these positive patterns into adulthood. This reduces the risk of mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
Meeting a baby’s emotional needs early boosts their future well-being.
Other Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep
If you want your baby to sleep better without tears, here are some ideas:
- Wait a Bit Longer Each Time: You can slowly wait a little longer each night before you go to comfort them. This helps them learn to sleep on their own without getting too upset.
- Stay Close But Don’t Pick Them Up: Sometimes, just being in the room can help your baby feel safe and fall asleep.
- Share the Room: Let the baby sleep in their own bed in your room. It will make them feel safe and help everyone sleep better.
- Bedtime Routine: Doing the same calm things before bed every night helps your baby know it’s time to sleep. This can be a bath, a story, or soft music.
Safe Co-Sleeping Tips
If you choose to co-sleep, it’s important to make sure the environment is safe. Always place your baby on their back, avoid soft bedding, and ensure the baby sleeps on a firm surface. Studies show that, when done safely, co-sleeping can reduce crying and improve parent-baby bonding.
Common Myths About Cry-It-Out
There are many common misconceptions about the CIO method. Here are a few myths:
- Myth 1: “Crying Helps Strengthen a Baby’s Lungs”: This old belief has been debunked. Excessive crying doesn’t improve lung function. It stresses and discomforts the baby.
- Myth 2: “Responding to Every Cry Spoils the Baby.”: Some parents fear that picking up a crying baby will make it too dependent. But research shows that responding to a baby’s cries builds trust. It makes them more independent in the long run. Babies learn to feel secure and are better able to regulate their emotions as they grow.
Conclusion
Parenting is never easy, and the decisions around sleep training are deeply personal. The cry-it-out method may seem like a quick fix.
But its long-term emotional and psychological effects are a concern. Experts say a responsive approach may boost your baby’s well-being and emotional growth.
Responsive parenting is tough. But it builds trust and a strong bond with your baby. This bond is key for emotional control, empathy, and social skills. They will help them throughout life.
Ultimately, every family is different. Choose CIO, a gentler approach, or something between. The key is to find a balance that works for you.
But, focus on your baby’s emotional and psychological health.